LIFE

5 WAYS IN WHICH MY CHILDHOOD IMPACTED MY ADULT LIFE.

Most Adults you see today are 99.9% a reflection of their childhood.

My childhood impacted my life in ways i never realized not until recently when i began to study certain traits i had.

1) Engaging in Church Activities.

I have had so many people tell me “Beauty you love church too much” and boy they are not wrong. i would love to consider myself as a very spiritual person i do not like the term religious. My love for Church came from my mom, my dad wasn’t really a church person.

  • The church was my safe place even from a very young age.

One time armed robbers visited the place where we lived, i was about 5 years old.

i could feel the panic in my moms voice and all i could think about was Church at that moment i said to her let us go to church.

Mind you this was in the middle of the night.

i believed God was in church my little mind had not yet understood that God was everywhere and He lived inside of me.

My love for church grew into love for God and i am very thankful to my mum for instilling such virtue into me from a very young age.

2) No social life
Childhood
how my childhood impacted my adult life

My parents were very strict, every child who grew up in a Nigerian home can relate to this.

The only thing i did for fun was

  • studying my books

Even when my friends came over to the house to play, my mum somehow looked for a way to keep me busy.

My mum was and still is a principal so you can imagine what life as a principals child was like.

As a result of this even at this age as an adult my social life is basically nonexistent, i can be invited to a social gathering by my friends and i would end up cancelling. This has taken a toll on some of my friendships and i am not proud of it.

I am working on myself and am proud of my accomplishments.

3)Giving, owning my stuff and helping others.

My mum and Dad were quite perfectionists but mum’s own was on another level.

My brother and i had all the textbooks that we were asked to purchase in school, some of those

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subjects weren’t even that serious but mum insisted on buying the books anyway.

The reason

  • She never wanted us to borrow anything from anyone. to her it felt like you were indebted to that person.

If you wanted to get on my mothers nerve and get some ass whooping, go borrow something.

She would rather we gave our stuff out to people than for it to be the other way round.

Fast forward to my Adult life, i have grown to be very independent, give freely, work for my stuff and own my things.

you can never tell i don’t have something if i do not make it known.

As great as that might sound, i have learnt that giving might be my thing and owning my stuff might also be my thing but it isn’t bad to Receive from people once in a while.

Receiving help does not always mean weakness it is actually one of the greatest forms of strength.

4) Showing love and saying i love you.

My parents never verbally said the word “i love you” to me or my brother, their way of showing love was providing my needs and making sure i was safe. i do not know if it is a Nigerian thing or just my household thing.

P.S i said Nigerian thing because most of my friends have testified to the same issue.

Showing love to each other in our presence was another No no, i never understood why but i know for sure that i wanted them to love up on each other in my presence.

How did this affect me?

In my relationships both past and present saying i love you on a daily basis wasn’t something i did, i would rather show them i loved them than say the word. and i preferred it when they showed me love instead of just saying” i love you” casually.

I would definitely want to be more affectionate with my partner in front of my kids so that they never find it weird, they need to know love is a beautiful thing and it shouldn’t be hidden.

5) Being outspoken.

I spoke about this in my previous post click Here to read.

There was never any room for timidity in my house, my Dad has always been my hero when it comes to being Fearless.

If i am not happy about something i do not sugar coat it, i let it out there and then and it really saddens me when people can’t voice out their opinion.

I really do not think i would have come this far if i was very fearful, so many things i got in my life and so many places i have been came from a place of confidence.

Thank you so much Daddy for instilling strength self love and confidence in me.

How did your Childhood impact your Adult life?

Thank you for Reading…

Photo credit: Google image

 

 

4 comments

  1. We are very similar in many areas of our lives… I’m very reserved and I don’t have many friends, sometimes I find it difficult to even catch up with the few ones I have. Church is my passion, I love to sing in the choir and that’s where I catch my fun….I feel I’m in my world there….My parents started telling me they love me from last year😂😂 at first it was weird especially when my dad told me he loves me because he was a strict man and I rmb the day he spanked me in Nigeria for giving him a peck( 🤦🏾‍♀️ typical Nigerian parent). Beautiful write up and keep being you dear, you’re such a kind lady❤❤😘😘

    1. 😂😂😂😂 omg he spanked you lol African parents sha… Each time I try to hug my dad he acts really weird, you can tell he is uncomfortable 😂😂. Thank you so much Aunty B you are amazing ❤️❤️❤️😘😘

      1. Yes he did😂😂 but the last time I went to Nigeria, he was just telling me how much he loves me and my siblings😂 African parents are weird😂😂

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